Sheepish Confessions

After my recent post about not getting out enough, the last several days have been pretty eventful.  On Wednesday I went to a Meet ‘n’ Greet with a local parents and babies group.  On Thursday J brought me along to a pub to meet up with a botanist friend and his girlfriend.  On Saturday J and I went to the Add the Words rally at the Idaho capital building.  Immediately after that, J had plans to meet up with a new friend of his for bowling.  I was invited along, but backed out because I was feeling a bit worn out and was not sure whether I could manage to be social for that and still have energy for Sunday’s plans.  On Sunday J and I met up with a random couple who connected with us via an internet hiking group, and we all went hiking in some of southern Idaho’s nifty rock hoodoo country.  And today, Monday, I’m not doing anything, but J has gone to meet up with his bowling friend for the evening.  They were going to come back here for dinner but ended up deciding not to, so it’s just me and Ziggy hanging out here.  And that’s fine.  It’s good for J to get out, and for us not to be so insular all the time.  But it feels a little not-awesome as well, because for all the good conversations with new people I’ve had this past week, most of the get-togethers were initiated by J.  He has decided to focus on being more social this year as well, and he tends to do well at anything he focuses on.  Better than me, truth be told.  He also has a history of really immersing himself in new interests — hence, perhaps, the full schedule of the past few days.

Anyway.  I guess what I’m saying is that I’m feeling a little insecure on this particular evening.  It’s stupid and I know it, but there you go.  This is the weakest part of my character.  Since he’s gone I’ve been mooning around the house, vacuuming, and wasting time on the internet, moodily looking at local activities to get involved in whilst actually being more interested in competing with J to become independent.  (I do not want to be the sad stay-at-home half of this couple.  …Instead I’ll be the sad, whinging half.)

In all, life could be a whole lot worse than it currently is.  Writing feels good, too.  I’m not happy at this exact moment, but that happens sometimes.  Time to do a little more work on the thesis, go to bed, and start fresh in the morning.

But first, to distract and detract a bit from my current poopy attitude, here are some nice pictures from a couple of our recent activities:

At the “Add the Words” rally.  People gathered for the eighth year in a row to show their support for the addition of the words “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the anti-discrimination provisions in the Idaho Human Rights Act.  Many individual cities and businesses have passed laws preventing this kind of gender discrimination, but our state has yet to show its support for the issue.

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Hiking amongst Idaho’s hoodoo country.

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