I didn’t use to think that I would want to be a stay-at-home mom. Then I became one, and little by little, I grew to enjoy it. To want it to continue.
Finances dictate otherwise, however. J’s job ends in December, and even if she finds a decent replacement, it’s been pretty tight living off of one salary. I myself had a job interview last week, and should find out whether I have a job offer in the next few days. It seems like a decent position, and I like what I’ve seen of the organization. I’ll get used to being in an office again, and I’ll definitely feel relieved to be contributing to our income.
One thing I don’t think I’ll feel, going back to work, is relief at being in the company of adults all day again. That’s one thing I heard about so often pre-baby: That being a SAHM is lonely, and that it’s hard to get used to being around a person who can’t speak back to you. That hasn’t been my experience. For one thing, I am very familiar with solitude and don’t mind it. In a smaller town perhaps my situation would be more difficult, but Boise always has something going on, so if I’m in need of some adult interaction it’s easy to drop in on a breastfeeding group, or a parent group event, or some other Meetup event. In my walks around town I’ve run into people I know from the local dog walking group, and I’ve hung out with them. In my walks around my neighborhood I’ve had the opportunity to talk to my neighbors, something I never did a lot of in our previous living situations. Other new moms I meet are quick to share phone numbers, and while these new acquaintances are often tenuous, resulting in a walk or coffee date and then nothing further, it has been very easy to find people to do things with. Welcome to the information age?? This certainly is not the experience my mom describes having had when I was a baby and she and my dad were living in Alaska. The truth is, I’ve felt more connected to people since Little Guy came along.
At any rate, I will be going back to work, and probably sooner than later. It’s hard to plan for anything until we know what the job situation will be, but J and I are going to try and avoid putting Little Guy in daycare until the beginning of 2015. We have decided on where we are going to send him, and as of today we have our application turned in. It’s a professional daycare rather than a home daycare or a nanny situation, and I am really happy with what I’ve seen of it. (I’ve done two tours, one on my own, and one when J returned from field work, because I didn’t want to make such a big decision without getting her input.) Knowing that we have a decent place to send Little Guy makes me feel more at ease.
I’m not sure what to do about Ziggy because we don’t know how long she will be with us… That part is tough. It feels so morbid to be thinking about that all the time, but logistically it is something I have to consider. Anyway. I will sort that out, but I’m going to wait at least until I find out about this job. In the meantime I think I am going to curl up with Zig on the couch and take a nap.