One of my goals this coming week is to schedule out one or two hikes in my local meetup groups. I haven’t been getting out with other people due to a combination of sickness, work commitments, and tiredness — And it just needs to change. This past week at work I was feeling a bit overwhelmed as usual, but I also realized how much I enjoy getting to interact with a wide variety of people throughout the day. In my personal life I am much more isolated. I hate admitting that, but it’s true.
J and I decided on a mediator today. We met with her for an hour and talked about what she does and how she can help us with the divorce. She really seems great, and the total cost is going to be $2000 or less; the exact amount will depend on how much of the divorce agreement J and I are able to complete on our own. J is offering to pay up to $1500 towards the process, so I’m hoping we can keep it under that amount. Emotionally, I wasn’t sure how I would handle today. Earlier in the week I wondered if I would get tearful and want to have another talk-out with J about how we got to this point. The mediator (who is also a counselor) actually said that she does closure counseling for divorcing couples to help both parties move forward individually in a healthy way. I was tempted at the thought, but in the end I said I didn’t think there was anything new for me and J to say; J has moved on, and I’m sad and angry, but we both know how we ended up here. Still, I might think about it for a little while.