Guidelines for Contacting my Ex

  1. It is okay to contact my ex about something directly related to our child (questions, sharing daily information or pictures, etc.)
  2. It is okay to contact my ex about something indirectly related to our child (“Hey, thanks for watching Little Man last weekend so I could participate in that volunteer trail maintenance project! I had a lot of fun.”…. Yesterday, that’s exactly what happened.)
  3. While we figure it out, it is okay to contact my ex about the divorce agreement language.

That is it.

I hate that it has come to this, but even ‘hate’ is a strong word at this point. I’m just tired. J likes to text me sometimes about random things — A picture of her field work, things she did over the weekend. It’s vaguely like what a friend would do but she isn’t a friend, because she never initiates in-person contact. I’m not interested in chatting via text with people who ignore me in real life.

On a more positive note, I really did have a lovely day yesterday. I drove out to the mountains, met some new people, hiked and sweated and even got to use a crosscut saw for the first time in my life. On a ridgeline over a lake, 3 or 4 hours distant from my office, I also ran into one of my organization’s volunteers. I hadn’t met this particular volunteer in person before but I recognized him because we both had the same logo on our baseball caps. When he told me his name I recognized it, and I even knew some things about him because he used to be a regular volunteer and had some specialized skills. One of the people in my group snapped a picture of the two of us, and I went away smiling and thinking that this is one of the things I really like about my job: It connects me to a lot of different people in the community. Even in the mountains, which seem so big and remote, it is a small world.

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